At a recent gig, a woman named Grace looked at me and asked, “Are you in IT?”

I told her I was and asked how she knew.

“The energy you carry,” she said.

I explained that things had been slow, which was why I was working the gig. She challenged that description.

“You have to find your team.”

That stayed with me.

When you’re applying for opportunities, building a business, or trying to keep something meaningful moving, it’s easy to turn every setback into a judgment about yourself. You start questioning your experience, your approach, even your place in the work you’ve spent years learning to do.

Sometimes adjustments are necessary. Skills need updating. An offer needs clarifying. An application needs work.

But there is also the matter of who you’re trying to build with.

You can be capable, courteous, and prepared and still struggle to connect with a particular group. That deserves reflection, but it doesn’t automatically mean you have nothing to offer.

Grace described people as stars in a constellation. Each contributes to a larger picture.

I liked the simplicity of that image. A team gives individual effort somewhere to connect.

Over the past week, as I’ve worked through opportunities and a proposal, that idea has become more practical. Bringing people together means understanding what each person can contribute, what they can commit to, and how the work will get done.

Encouragement matters. So does follow-through.

The people you can build with don’t have to agree with everything you say. They should be able to challenge an idea, offer useful feedback, share credit, and take responsibility for their part. You owe them the same.

Finding those relationships takes some initiative. It might mean reconnecting with someone whose judgment you trust, asking for a specific introduction, or starting a small collaboration before making a larger commitment.

It also means noticing the people already showing up. Someone who makes time, keeps a promise, or gives thoughtful feedback may be offering the beginning of the support you’ve been looking for.

Grace didn’t know my résumé or everything I had been working through. Our conversation didn’t change my circumstances that afternoon.

It did change where I put some of my attention.

Alongside the question of what I need to improve, there is another consideration: who I can contribute to, learn from, and move forward with.

That feels like a useful place to begin.

This week, reach out to one person you respect. Suggest a specific way to help each other move something forward.